Show us something you can't resist.
What do you do when you get a crush on someone?
Submitted by Desi.
Oh man. Of course this question would come up now, just as I am thinking about the people I have crushes on. Here's the thing. I pretty much always have a crush, and it's not unlike me to have more than one. I think I've hit a record right now, though. At 23 I've never had a boyfriend, and school was pretty much my life up until just a few months ago. I graduated and got a new job, one where there are several young men around my age. I've never really had an easy time of talking to people, especially boys, so maybe I'm just overwhelmed by all the testosterone in the air. Either way, there are a few guys I can think of who, if they asked me out on a date, I would say yes. But on to the question at hand.
I am a pretty quiet person, and when I have a crush, guess what? I'm still quiet. I think it all depends on how the crush develops. One of the people on my list is absolutely gorgeous, and I thought so from the very first time I saw him. So when I'm around him and I'm thinking about how beautiful he is, I tend to clam up. Yesterday I was at work and he happened to be nearby, and I was doing my thing, struggling very hard not to grin like an idiot. Other times, though, and I've noticed that this is the case when the conversation is impromptu and I haven't had time to think of a way to seem cool, I find it much easier to make conversation. Thank goodness for that.
All of the other people on my list are people I've grown to like after having spoken to them first, and there are varying degrees of "crush-hood," if you will. A couple of them I can say right out that I want them to want to hang out with me (I would not, however, be the type to see both at once, so don't worry about that. I'm not a jerk.). To the others, I would say yes if asked on a date, but if they never get around to it, it's no biggie. With all of these people, I don't really act very different from my normal self. They're easy to talk to, and I don't feel awkward around them. Again, thank goodness for that.
I really think all of this is just me learning to be comfortable with myself. The more I feel okay with my quirks (and believe me, I have a few of them), the more comfortable I'll be with talking to people and especially potential mates. I am kind of a late bloomer in the social arena, so I've got some catching up to do. But to all you boys out there, and especially to the ones with whom I work, don't be afraid to look my way. Even if we end up as friends and nothing more. Yes, I'm quiet, but I think you've got potential to help me break out of my shell.
This is just a little note to say thanks.
But first, a little history (don't worry, I won't make it too long): until December of last year, school has been my life. My routine had been to wake up, get ready for school, go to school, come home, do homework, then get ready to do it all over again the next day. I was and am kind of socially awkward, and have never had an easy time making friends or opening up to people. It's not something I necessarily like about myself, but I've come to accept it more or less, because I don't think it will change any time soon. I'm a person who likes to have a plan and who likes stability, and this is the first time that I don't have a concrete, step-by-step goal for my life. I don't have academics to carry me anymore, and after college I decided on applying for this job to improve my social skills and maybe become a little more comfortable with simply being myself.
I know I've (half) joked about hating people. The truth is, it's just hard for me to talk to them sometimes. But after having been hired at Spanish Hills, I've come to realize that I love my job. And while I enjoy talking to members and wedding guests, its my coworkers who really make me love what I do.
Sometimes I feel kind of prudish and uncool about the fact that I'm not a huge party girl (however, to Malibu and cranberry, I say bring it on!) and that I am "fragile," as Collier so kindly put it today. I've always had a difficult time feeling like I fit in, and I just would like to say thanks for making me feel like I belong. My life was by no means terrible when "student" was my only title, but I'm having such a better time without it. I go to work in a good mood because I know I'll get to see you, and I come home happy that I get to spend so much time with fun, radiant people. I hope this doesn't all sound too corny, but since I am a sap I figure a little corniness is to be expected. The truth is I love you all and want you to know it.
Thank you for helping me feel accepted; it's not something that happens to me very often, and I want to express my gratitude.
Thank you for being part of what makes my life beautiful.
What fictional character do you relate to most and why?
When I read Shopgirl, I felt like I could relate to a lot of what Mirabelle, the main character, felt. She and I are about the same age. The difference between her and me is that she was actually in a relationship while I, on the other hand, have never had one. However, her significant other was older, and I've previously thought to myself that I won't be completely surprised if I am ever in a relationship with an older man. I read this book a couple years ago, and I like to think that I am at least slightly more confident now than I was then, but every so often I do get to thinking about her and how she and I are a lot alike.
I have a journal where I keep memorable passages from books I read. Here are some of the ones from Shopgirl that I related to most:
"She knows she needs new friends but introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness."
"In spite of her depression, Mirabelle likes to think of herself as humorous. She can, when the occasion calls, become a wisecracker and buoyant party girl. This mood, Mirabelle thinks, sometimes makes her the center of attention at parties and gatherings. The truth is that these episodes of gaiety merely raise her to normal, but for Mirabelle the feeling is so exceptional that she believes herself to be standing out."
"A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps in her, waiting to be stirred [...] What Mirabelle needs is some omniscient voice to illuminate and spotlight her, and to inform everyone that this one has value, this one over here, the one sitting in the bar by herself, and then to find her counterpart and bring him to her."
"By appealing to his absolute worst side, Lisa eventually dominates him, and later the Artist/Hero is seen taking her phone number. Mirabelle is not affected by a man's failure to approach her, as her own self-deprecating attitude never allows the idea that he would in the first place."
"Catherine collapsed, then fought, then resurrected the marriage with a quiet power and sophistication that had not shown at any other time in her life or has ever shown again. The one who was broken, who did not recover, who did not understand, and who saw the image of her father crack and shatter, was Mirabelle."
"Mirabelle's mind blackens. The blackness is not a thought, but if it could be pressed into a thought, if a chemical from a dropper could be dripped onto it causing its color and essence to become visible, it would take the shape of this sentence: Why does no one want me?"
Neighborhood
Explore friends, family, friends & family, or entire neighborhood.
